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Scared To Be Me Online


I really wanted to go straight into this post but I feel like I gotta address the elephant in the room...

Yup, I really have been missing in action without even so much as a BRB, see you next month or just a courtesy post to say I'm still alive just taking a break.

If you follow my weekly adventures over on the 'tube then you'll know I fell out of love with all things social media, vlogging and apparenly blogging too so I packed up my tech and just had some much needed time away to actually remember who Dionne was.

Anyhoo, I'm back, I've not worked out a schedule for da blog yet but I'm getting creative and getting all my ideas down on paper and that's what's important to me right now.

Now that's we've got that out of the way, let's get back to the post...

A few days ago, I was sat at my desk, bullet journal open, pen in hand jotting down some ideas for posts whilst scrolling through my bloglovin feed.
One of my favourite bloggers has to be Chloe Plumstead, everything she writes just hits home with me and I can relate to everything she posts about.

This little post of hers really got me thinking.... "SHIT",  she's talking about me!


I have a blog but I feel like my personlity doesn't come through. There are so many things I want to say but I cut myself short because I want to keep everyone happy or at least try to and not "rock the boat". I can feel myself trying to fit into this mould, trying to be like everyone else on the internet and make content similar to them because hey, it has worked for them so it'll work for me, right?

It's weird because I definitely would have thought I would have seen the signs sooner, pulled myself up about it and had a long, hard word with myself but no, I've been happy to carry on like this until now - so thank you for the post Chloe, you've really helped open my eyes.


 So here we go, confession time - "Hi everyone, my name is Dionne and I'm scared to be the real me on the internet"

How have I had this online space for so long and it's only now I've found this out? Better late then never I guess...

I want to take this post to introduce you to me, the real me and not the (what I feel) artifical version I seem to have portrayed myself to be around these parts and for that I'm sorry.

So, hello, I'm 26, single pringle,  swear like a trooper, forever sarcastic but really a lovely human being! I don't like coffee or rather coffee doesn't like me (I get the worst caffine jitters ever), I'm not really into Netflix - I'm prettty much the worst basic bitch you will ever see! Black, white and grey are my ride or die - so maybe I am a basic bitch? I'm not the best at keeping up with an instagram theme but I do try to post regularly, you'll find me at least 6 out of 7 days bare faced and if I'm ready for the day before 10am (when I'm not at work or have somewhere to be) it's a miracle! There's so much more but I'll save that for another day.


I'm a bugger for comparing myself to other bloggers, I'm constantly thinking:

Outfit Details
Blazer: Missguided (old)
Jumper: La Redoute (old)
Jeans: BDG Jeans 
Trainers: Vans 
Bag: Mango (old)

  • Why is my blog not as good as theirs? 
  • Why do I not get as many page views? 
  • What am I doing wrong? 
  • I hate my photograph, theirs is better
  • Why am I not the same as them?

Let me tell ya, this mindset sucks!

Why would I want to be the same as someone else? Why would I want my content to be a carbon copy of someone else's thoughts, feelings, opinions? 

I was told once, it is hard to be yourself but it's much harder being someone else and why would you want to be? There's already one of them! If you're trying to be them too, then who's being you?

And you know what, it's true!

I realise now I have my own voice. My thoughts matter, my feelings matter, my opinion MATTERS. 

I can only be me and being me is good enough.

Screw being scared to me online! Screw being scared to me offline!

I want to be me! 

It's time to be me! 

This post is a clean slate, a new chapter, a new beginning...

I'm saying goodbye to fear and hello to Dionne! Hello to the real me!


Photography by Alice Red







2 comments

  1. I feel you on this post. My first blog was a fail because I was trying so hard to be "on trend" and wrote things that I felt were going to get loads of likes and comments, rather than stuff I genuinely cared about. Now, I write for myself and enjoy it much more! It can be scary to open up online especially with trolls, but being authentic is only to be.
    Loving this attitude, just be yourself girly and keep it up! xx
    Maya Not Mya

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely, I couldn't agree more. It's difficult to worth it xx

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