I've been waiting for this moment for the past 15 months, waiting to get my "life" back. 

Now I know that might sound weird and you're probably saying "but Dionne, you're living your life anyway" and yes you are correct but what I meant is waiting for my life after Billy Elliot.

Working on Billy Elliot took up my full attention, it took every ounce of my strength, focus and in a way, my sense of self. 

Yup, it was a pretty intense bubble to be in 24/7

Around 6 months ago, I started to think about my life outside the bubble of schedules everyday and routine. I started to think about things I would like to do again even down to the meals I wanted to cook. I remember how excited I would get at the thought of cooking a roast dinner! A roast dinner! 

Trust me when you find yourself having no choice over the food you're served and having it eat the lot, cooking a roast dinner is what dreams are made of!

Now I don't want you to think I'm bashing my time at Billy at all as I loved it! Every second and wouldn't change a thing. It's just when you live away, the nature of the job could get quite tough and tiring. 

I would constantly think about blogging and Youtube amongst other things. I would think about and envision how I would present my own content. How I can improve and process my platforms. I was so excited to get home and actually make a start on a new chapter, a new side of me.

Let's fast forward to today.... I'm nearly two weeks into leaving Billy behind and I've started blogging again and uploaded my first weekly vlog in 15 months but it seems like all the imagination, creativity and ideas I had seems to have been left in my hotel room in Hamburg.

It's funny, isn't it? When I'm taken out of the situation I have all the ideas in the world and as soon as I'm free to run with them, they've disappeared like a puff of smoke.

I'm going, to be honest, in all the thoughts I had about life after Billy - not once did I actually envision real life like unpacking, job hunting, having a social life and readjusting to being back at home on a permanent basis! All the things I'm currently tackling now it's no wonder why I'm lacking in creativity!

Life has a funny way of guiding you into what to prioritise first. I was thinking blogging and Youtube yet my mind had other ideas.

I've been job hunting for round about a month now - I've had a couple interviews, some better than others, many "thank you for your application but unfortunately..." emails which are fine as I know I'll find something eventually. There are so many things I would like to do, join fitness classes, have days out with the family, work on my blog and create amazing content but it all comes in time. I've got to let my life play out.


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